Navigating Hard Conversations with Care Providers During Pregnancy, Labour, and Birth

We know that pregnancy, labour, and postpartum can bring a whirlwind of emotions, decisions, and, yes, hard conversations. You deserve to feel confident and supported in every step of your journey, especially when it comes to advocating for your choices and making sure your voice is heard. We’re here to help you navigate those conversations with your care team in a way that feels authentic, empowering, and true to your needs.

At The Birth & Baby Academy, we’ve created a whole module to help you communicate confidently with your care providers, so you can make informed, empowered decisions that work for you and your baby.

Why Clear Communication Matters

When it comes to your pregnancy and birth, clear communication with your care providers is key, and sadly due to the constraints the NHS are experiencing, navigating hard conversations with care providers is more common than you may think. It’s all about:

• Feeling heard and respected

• Making sure your choices are honoured, whether it's in your birth plan or how you’re supported postpartum

• Finding a way to advocate for yourself and your baby without fear or guilt

• Building a relationship of trust with your care team, where you feel safe to speak up

And here's the thing: having these tough conversations doesn’t mean you're being difficult — it means you're being a strong, informed parent who is ready to make the best choices for their family.

Hard Conversations During Pregnancy

During pregnancy, you may find yourself needing to speak up about things like:

• Unwanted advice: "I really appreciate your concern, but we’ve decided to follow the guidance of our midwife for now."

• Managing others’ expectations: "We’re limiting visits to focus on preparing for baby."

• Birth preferences: "We’d love a calm, quiet space for our birth experience. Privacy is really important to us."

Tip: It’s totally okay to set boundaries. This is your journey, and you have every right to choose what feels best for you.

Hard Conversations During Labour

When it comes to labour, the last thing you want is to feel overwhelmed or unheard. We know that having clear boundaries and making sure your wishes are respected can help:

• Being clear about your birth preferences: You can use the BRAIN tool (Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing) to help navigate decisions about interventions or pain relief.

• Managing visitors: It’s your space, and you get to decide who’s there with you.

• Staying in control of your environment: From dimming the lights to limiting noise and interruptions, making the space work for you is essential.

  
  

In our Birth & Baby Academy, we dive into how to communicate your needs and preferences with your care team, so you feel supported throughout your labour.

Hard Conversations Postpartum

Once baby arrives, it’s a time of adjustment and healing, and the last thing you need is extra pressure. Conversations might look like:

• Protecting your rest: "We’re keeping things low-key for now and will let you know when we’re ready for visitors."

• Feeding choices: "We’re sticking to our feeding plan, but thanks for offering advice."

• Managing mental health: "I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and could really use some extra support right now."

Remember: Your needs are just as important as everyone else’s, and it's okay to ask for what you need, whether it's rest, space, or support.

How to Navigate Hard Conversations with Care Providers

• Plan ahead: Talk things through with your partner or support team before speaking to your care provider, so you’re both on the same page.

• Use the BRAIN tool: When it comes to any medical decisions, this is your go-to guide for making informed choices (Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing).

• Be calm but firm: Assertiveness is all about being clear and respectful. You have a right to advocate for your choices without feeling guilty.

• Stick to your boundaries: If you’re asked for more information than you’re comfortable sharing, it’s okay to say no. You don’t have to explain yourself every time.

Final Thoughts

Having tough conversations with your care team might feel daunting at first, but it’s one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself and your baby. You deserve to feel supported, heard, and respected in every part of your journey. By setting boundaries and advocating for your choices, you’re paving the way for the birth experience that’s right for you.

▶️ Join The Birth & Baby Academy for more on communicating confidently, advocating for your choices, and making empowered decisions during pregnancy and birth.

▶️ Download our free "Taking Control of Your Birth" video for expert tips on making informed, empowered decisions.